Permanent Human Settlement of the Earth, Space and Ocean Frontiers

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Aunt Ernistine Weighs In on Mars

"What the slip-slimin-two-timin-rap-rhymin heck are you babbling about this time boy? All this poppycock about Mars and all… Ain’t you gainfully employed? You got nothing better to do than waste good air on Buck Rogers and Mars? Why when I was a little girl theses pulp fiction nonsense was considered just so much trash. The low class boys had them hid under their mattresses… along with who knows what else? Well, I know what else… oh never mind. And now you got your mom and daddy arguing about this. Shame on you, dragging them into this nonsense! Why, I ought to thrash you six ways to Sunday like I did when you was a kid. Man on Mars! Ha! Just like the moon hoax. They say they did it all on a movie set – and it’s been proven by real scientists. I seen it on the Internet. That proves it all by itself! And if man can’t go to the Moon then how in the heck is he goanna go to Mars? Get some sense in you boy! You’ve been playing way, way too many video games. I say get your head out of the teevee and go play outside or something. When I was your age we lived in the back yard. My momma wouldn’t even let me in the house till it was dark and the chickens were asleep. Now we got the whole bunch of you generation x-ers trying to get to Mars. Well – what’re ya gonna do after you get there? Nobody ever asks that question? Well, I just did! That’s right boy. You heard it from your old Auntie Ernistine. What are you gonna do when you get there? I’ll tell you what – you’ll set up a calendar and start markin off the days till you can come home, that’s what! Silly boy.”